Your young men will see visions. Your old men will dream dreams...
And so it was. I fell asleep, while watching a contentious debate on television:
Highly emotional support for the position that the speed of light is a limiting velocity -- nothing can travel faster. Equally adamant assertion that it is possible.
Nothing proved.
I was awakened by a man clothed in a flowing all white robe. Without speaking he took my arm, and led me out into the night. Waiting there was a shiny silver vessel, larger than my Chevrolet suburban.
A door opened, and we entered.
There was a momentary sensation of motion, then quiet.
What seemed to me just a few seconds, and the door again opened. We stepped out into – nothingness.
My guide spoke: “Be not afraid. Your safety is assured.”
“How am I able to breather?” I demanded.
He smiled. “Rest easy. It is provided.”
Something about his manner was reassuring. I made the almost unconscious decision to accept my circumstances without fear.
“I have brought you here to accomplish one thing: That you must be free of the constraints of the frame of reference of you earthly surroundings."
"Observe: There, before you are three balls. You may regard them as similar to tennis balls, or the balls from the game you call Pool.”
“Their composition is irrelevant. Their size is as you choose to perceive. The arrangement is placement as if defining the points of an equilateral triangle. Note that there is no motion, either with respect to each other, or to you.'
He paused, to assess my understanding. Satisfied, he continued:
“By the power of your mind, you are to accelerate the leftmost ball to nine-tenths the speed of light, in an easterly direction. You are able to maintain awareness of its path and position.”
I nodded my assent and understanding.
“That ball, that you have directed, is moving at 0.9 times 186,00 miles per second away from its two erstwhile companions. I now tell you to accelerate the rightmost of the balls to half the speed of light, in a westerly direction. Exactly opposite the direction in which you dispatched the first ball.”
A pause. To observe my compliance.
“Now, tell me the velocity of the first ball in relation to the one remaining.”
“167,400 miles per second.”
“Exactly. And what is the velocity of the second ball in relation to the one remaining?”
“93,000 miles per second.”
“Right again. And with the understanding that velocity is RELATIVE, what is the velocity of the eastbound ball relative to the westbound ball?”
I awoke, sweating, although my room was cool. My consternation at having to confront the reality that there could exist a velocity IN EXCESS of the speed of light interrupted my dream, and plunged me into frustrated wakefulness …
Commentary:
I learned that a genius of years past had approached this problem and solved it by decree:
The speed of light is constant,
And if a object approached the speed of light, the energy that might propel it past the speed of light is converted to mass.
The German predilection for explaining the mysteries of the universe by elaborate constructions of fancy has been the subject of past commentary. Please refer to my essay Problems with German Metaphysics.odt for a summary of my arrogant refutation of German mythology.
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