Frustration

 That's the name of the game.

I am trying to fill up a bucket that has a hole in the bottom 

It is an old bucket.  It is rusty and as a result there are numerous holes. Allow me to clarify a metaphorical allegory This old body is a bucket.

It's been sitting out in the wind and the rain for many years, and it's getting rusty.  Numerous holes are forming. So that now the water runs out as fast as it's poured in.

I'm trying to fill the bucket to that line at the top, which has associated with it the legend  “Understanding.” 

I am attracted and intrigued by a podcast conversation between Jordan Peterson and Victor Davis Hansen.

I find that they talk faster than I can listen. So I turn on Closed Captions, so that I can read to verify what I think I'm hearing. 

I find their commentary very relevant, penetrating and meaningful — and I find my consciousness is wandering.  

My mentality is rusting. The holes are growing.  And my bucket of comprehension is leaking. It suggests that the bucket is beyond redemption, and the attempt to fill it is futile